


Day #6 - Scars

by Accal1a



Series: October Nickels Insanity (2019) [6]
Category: Cut & Run - Madeleine Urban & Abigail Roux, Sidewinder Series - Abigail Roux
Genre: Aftermath of Torture, Blood and Injury, Gen, Heavy Angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-06
Updated: 2019-10-06
Packaged: 2020-12-17 05:40:20
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,545
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21049211
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Accal1a/pseuds/Accal1a
Summary: Kelly watches over Nick after 23 days, 9 hours and 51 minutes.





	Day #6 - Scars

**Author's Note:**

> I blame [astudyinfic](https://archiveofourown.org/users/astudyinfic). Go read _her_ October insanity [here](https://archiveofourown.org/works/20849234/chapters/49560635).
> 
> [mindfluff](https://archiveofourown.org/users/mindfluff) decided to join in on the madness too. Their fics start [here](https://archiveofourown.org/works/20853593#work_endnotes).

Kelly sat at Nick's bedside, his hand on his friend's. It seemed like the only place that he could, even though he could tell Nick has two broken fingers, along with the myriad of deep cuts, sewn shut due to their depth. God it looked like there was no part of Nick that hadn't been touched. He saw cuts through the tattoo that Eli had designed, scars that would mar the perfection of the Celtic gauntlet adorning his friend's arm. He found himself wanting to weep and burn the world down at the same time. Find him an enemy and he'd take them down, no question's asked.

He could hear Eli talking to Ty's prone form as well, whispering quietly to him, but he couldn't bear to tear his eyes away from Nick, fearing that if he did, he would fade away.

After some time, Ty woke, moaning in pain and Kelly looked up. He'd go over there if no other medic was present, but he wasn't moving if someone else could do it. He loved Ty, but he wasn't leaving Nick alone.

Thankfully another medic came over, administering more meds, talking to Ty in quiet words.

"Nick?" Ty cried. "Is Nick…"

"He's alive." Eli said quietly. "He's alive."

Ty seemed to relax completely at his brother's words, succumbing to the meds again and drifting off to sleep.

Eli and Kelly locked eyes and said everything and nothing with a look before Kelly went back to watching Nick.

At some future point in time someone had come to get them for duty of some sort, Kelly wasn't listening. Eli reluctantly went but Kelly had told the officer in no uncertain terms that he wasn't leaving. Have him write him up for insubordination. He didn't care anymore, nothing was more important than being next to Nick when he woke up.

Eventually he'd been forced to sleep, Digger actually picking him up and all but throwing him out of the tent, telling him that he and Owen would watch over them both for a bit. Owen had similarly frog-marched Eli out and told him not to return. They were told in no uncertain terms not to come back for at least eight hours. Kelly hadn't realised how tired he was until, he and Eli staggered across the desert camp and into their racks, barely able to keep their feet. How long had they even been up at this point? He didn't know and found he really didn't care.

~~~

Nick and Ty were cagey when they came back from their debrief, not meeting the eyes of the team. They were quieter, speaking in hushed voices, able to talk almost telepathically far more than they used to be able to. An experience like that would bond two people, and these two men had been brothers already.

Eventually, Kelly had sought Nick out, hoping to give him some solace, remind him that he had a team behind him and that he didn't have to deal with this alone, that he and Ty weren't the only thing keeping this together. They could all shoulder some of this burden. It could have been any of them. The only reason Kelly hadn't been taken with them was because Nick had killed the man trying to take him away. He knew he'd carry that guilt for the rest of his life. Nick could have got free himself, could have killed the man taking him, but no, he'd decided to save Kelly instead and gone through immeasurable torture because of it. It was almost too much to bear.

"You know you can talk to us about this, right?" He said softly. Everything around Nick and Ty had to be softly at the moment, as if a loud noise would cause them to disappear, back to their unknowable hell.

"I can't, Kels." Nick said tiredly. He wasn't even lying, he really couldn't.

"You've got to talk about this. I know Ty is there with you, but he also needs to talk. You can't keep this inside you. We can all help, Digger and Ozone and Eli, we're all here for you."

"I _can't_, Kels."

"Look just think about it okay? I'm a medic, I do know what I'm talking about you know." Kelly joked, though it fell flat.

"I can't talk about it Kels, I can't ever talk about it."

"Why not?" Kelly demanded, he wasn't above getting pissed as long as it got them talking about it, they couldn't keep this all inside. All six of them needed to talk about this. Yes, those two had been through the physical hell, but they had been basically inconsolable whilst they had been missing. The team wasn't a team without them.

"It's classified." Nick said eventually.

Kelly just stared at him, unable to parse what he'd just been told. "It's…"

"Classified." Nick repeated, knowing that he was about to be subjected to an epic Kelly meltdown, and resigned to the fact.

"We're special forces." Kelly said eventually, keeping a lid on his anger for the moment, even thought he partially wanted to shake his friend until he saw sense.

"I know, Kels. But you don't have the clearance. I'm sorry." Nick said evenly, then winced when he saw Kelly take a deep breath.

"Fuck you Irish! You're gone for three weeks and you and Six come back battered and all you can say is 'It's classified'. Fuck. You." Kelly shouted, gesticulating wildly.

"_Kels_."

"No. You don't get to placate me. You don't get to say that. You don't get to fucking say 'classified' to me. You don't…do you fucking know what this did to us, what this did to the team?

Nick let Kelly rail at him, it was exactly what his friend needed, and he could take it. He knew the anger came from a place of love, knew that it showed how worried Kelly had been. He only wished there was something he could do to help. The one thing that might solve this was the one thing that he couldn't do. The words died in his throat, choking him. He wanted to tell Kelly with every fibre of his being, but he couldn't...and that added a wound to his injuries, this one on his heart.

"You're fucking injured, God Nick you looked like you were _dead_ when you came back. I thought...we all thought we'd lost you two, and you come back like a fucking miracle. We sit with you, we talk to you, we wait hoping, fucking praying that you're going to be alright and then the op gets a fucking classified stamp on it? Bullshit. This is all bullshit. We were _on_ the op. How is this part of it fucking _classified_? I don't get…"

"Kels…look it's not…"

"Classified Nick? Fucking classified? Who the fuck decided that? Some fucking suit up in Washington slapped a red mark on the file just because what? Just because our boys were taken? Fucking DoD thinking that that is a weakness, that we don't tell the world that you were taken. Well I'm not asking them to tell the fucking world, I'm asking them to tell me!

I know they want to think we're invincible, that nothing could possibly go wrong with our _perfect _military but that's not what happens! Some missions are FUBAR and that's just what it is! A split second here or there and it can change everything. You're telling me that we're on a mission that no-one can know about and then suddenly people get taken and we're not privy to that information anymore? Fuck that! Fuck them! Fuck all of this!" He gave up and stormed out of the tent, muttering to himself as he went.

"He'll come round." Ty said as he walked into the tent after Kelly had departed.

"You heard?" Nick asked, shifting around on the bed he'd been resting on.

"The whole camp heard." Ty said, smirking. "He's not wrong though."

"God don't you think I know that? I was this close to telling him everything. He's right it's utterly fucked up that we can't share this with them. I mean sure classify the mission all you want, but we're all the same security clearance, and it's pretty fucking high. Why is this time suddenly subjected to code word?"

"They don't want people to know we're fallible." Ty said quietly.

"Jokes on them though. We are, and burying their heads in the sand about this isn't going to help anyone."

"We can talk to each other about this." Ty said quietly, moving to sit down on the rack opposite Nick. "For now that'll have to do."

Nick hoped that one day there would be enough distance from the op that it would be declassified, because he knew that keeping something this big from the team would have lasting effects. Maybe not as explosive as Kelly, who would come round once he'd railed and ranted for a while, he always did. But it would be its own wound hanging over the team, a gaping maw that spoke of distrust, even though that wasn't the case.

Nick hoped that one day that scar would heal along with his own, allowing them all to move on.

**Author's Note:**

> Come and visit the [Cut & Run Discord Server](https://discord.gg/vvy6c76) and join us as we discuss/scream about this awesome series.
> 
> ~~~
> 
> Fancy joining a multi-fandom Discord server where you can <s>squee with</s> chat with like minded people? Have I got the place for you!
> 
> Come and join **The Fandom Playhouse**. You don't have to be mad to [join](https://discord.gg/82pvdE39fD), but it does help...


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